The Control Freak

The Control Freak

 

“A ship at harbour is safe. But that’s not what ships are made for.”

Unknown

 

The Control Freak has very concrete ideas of how things work and how tasks need to be carried out. Things need to be done his way. The very best is when he does them himself, so that the risk of failure or making mistakes is minimised. Taking a moment of rest or delegating tasks is unimaginable for the Control Freak. He is holding everything together, has an eye for all the details, coordinates all the processes, so that everything can be done well. Letting only one thread out of his hand could have serious consequences. At least this is what he thinks.

The Control Freak is often frustrated with others and his environment. Rarely can someone carry out a task with as much precision and accuracy as him. However, his expectations are the highest when it comes to himself. He is his own most rigorous and uncompromising boss. Not being able to live up to his own expectations is a source of inner conflict.

The Control Freak can show himself in everyday situations such as a concept of “the only proper way of dishwashing” or “the right way of cooking rice” which can already cause confrontations and conflict with a flatmate, family member or a partner. In situations of working together or managing complex processes, the inner Control Freak can easily get frustrated and overwhelmed. Since nobody can do things as well as him, he takes most of the tasks and responsibilities on his shoulders. This behaviour often discourages others and makes their motivation and sense of responsibility plummet. “Fair enough mate, if you know how to do everything the best, just do it yourself.” This makes the Control Freak a difficult team player.

Picking the Control Freak card invites you to examine where you find a high demand for quality and precision, which in its extreme form manifests as perfectionism in life.

The Control Freak can also be a burdening companion. If you often feel innerly stiff, if you find it hard to compromise even in small everyday situations, if you take too much on your shoulders for fear of others making mistakes or not doing things properly, it might be time to give your inner Control Freak a break.

 

Question:

*Which are the situations when you inner Control Freak steps up and takes over? How does he make you behave? How do others react to your behaviour?

*What is the worst thing that can happen when you or someone else makes a mistake?

 

Exercise:

Treat you and your nervous system with a little break and reset: Shake it. Enter a steady shaking of your body by remaining standing in one spot. Let every cell of your body vibrate. Shake as long as you no longer notice whether you are shaking yourself or being shaken. It may take 10-15mins. If you have the urge to shake all your limbs and just shake everything out, do it. You can also keep a steady shake by remaining standing in one spot and let the shake naturally end. Lie on the ground and rest.