The Never-Enough

 

“Good Enough Never Is.”

Debbie Fields

 

No matter how good you are: it is not enough.

No matter how many projects you are involved in: they are not enough.

No matter how many qualifications you’ve got: they are not enough.

You should do more, learn more, create more, have more impact – you should simply be more. This is what the Never-Enough will always tell you. He will always compare you with others who are light-years ahead. Compared to them, everything you are and everything you do seems like kindergarten, silly and foolish; nothing.

For each compliment you receive you answer, “Yes, but I should have done better than that”. No matter how good you are, no matter how great what it is you do: It is just not enough. But not enough for what, for whom?

When you are stuck in the Never-Enough trap, become aware of what you are running after, and who you are trying to convince.

Telling ourselves a story of how and why we are not good enough and not ready yet is a powerful strategy to keep us from following our call. By making ourselves smaller than we are, we boycott our true power, and escape our responsibility. We use it as an excuse to hide from our purpose.

If you pick this card, it’s time to overcome this strategy. This card reminds you that you have everything you need – and invites you to be grateful and use it wisely.

 

Questions:

*If you got this card, ask yourself honestly: How high do you raise the bar for yourself? Why are you so strict and demanding with yourself?

*What if you were already perfect and enough?

 

Exercise:

Learn to celebrate – even the smallest steps. In the next three days, try to recognise every little step of success you make – no matter how small and foolish it might be. Acknowledge it, celebrate it, be proud of yourself. Don’t rush to the next thing immediately but stay with what you succeeded and enjoy it. How to enjoy it?

#1: Take a few conscious breaths and let the accomplishment sink in by breaking the pattern of immediately saying things like: “oh well, it is really nothing” “I could have done it better, it is not as good as I wanted”. Just be in that moment, abandon your thoughts and focus on breathing.

#2 How to celebrate: High-five people. Invite for short moments or longer rounds of “harvesting”: what was notable, an important learning or precious about your week, the project-finish, the day? Get to know how and when your joy rises and express it.  

#3 Learn to be more playful: we are have our quest, and we are all constantly researching, not knowing whether things are “right” or “wrong”. Take it a little easier and allow yourself to fail or to succeed. In “never-enough-moments” reconnect with the intention and  joy of doing what you do. Step over your resistance to feel ok and even good about what you’ve accomplished. Practise to appreciate and be grateful for the little things.