The Victim

The Victim

 

“Some people create their own storms and get mad when it rains.”

Unknown

 

The Victim is really poor: he would live a good life and do great projects, if only the others weren’t so mean, so stupid, so unreliable, so whatever. One thing is for sure: It’s always the others that are to blame. Instead of taking his future in his hands, the Victim spends his time complaining. Life is hard, people are full of faults, there’s too much work, too little money, too little appreciation, too little awareness, and above all a system which is just making good efforts impossible.

The Victim is convinced that change, if at all possible, can only come from the outside: From other people, from God, from the government, from companies, from the powerful ones but not from within. For the Victim suffering has become a strategy to get attention and an excuse not to take on responsibility with joy and willpower. He rather considers himself powerless than stepping into his full power.

If you have picked this card, you might consider asking yourself: what lies behind the patterns of being a Victim? You might also recognise that part of it is a fear of your own power. Stepping into your power and (self-)responsibility might be dangerous, so the Victim would rather not move. But there is beauty in taking on responsibility for what you are doing. It’s the  key to freedom, autonomy, power and participation. It is liberating both yourself and the people around you. It’s fun, it’s joy, and yes: It is adventurous. So let’s jump into it.

 

Question:

*Do you want to be a victim? Sit down and take a piece of paper. What advantages do you gain from being a victim? Why is it better to feel like a victim?

 

Exercise:

When we take a deeper look, in life we often create drama following one particular constellation: Victim – Offender – Saviour. The Victim is the most powerful one in this game. When the Victim stops victimising himself and steps out, there is no job for the  Offender or the Saviour. So, when you feel like a victim you are already using power, but in a pretty irresponsible way. Try to notice when you do that and shift into a responsible mode by making a choice: taking back blame, asking yourself what you can do or what you actually feel.