“I am, because I am working” – this is the mantra of the Workaholic.
From a human being, he has transformed into a human doing. Many projects, many involvements, so much time spent at work and less and less time for relationships and tight identification with what he is doing. Without recognising it, his life has transformed into a hamster wheel. From the inside, this hamster wheel might look like a career ladder. But if the workaholic only zooms out a little bit he will soon recognise that it’s neither healthy nor fulfilling. His relationship to work has become an addiction – and he might need to ask himself: Is it truly satisfying and sense-making? Is he able to take enough time for himself, other people and activities? Is he at ease with launching into a free evening not thinking about work and shutting off his mobile/computer?
Mostly, for the Workaholic, work has become a diversion so that he doesn’t have to confront a personal problem, his wounds, feelings of emptiness and inadequacy. Instead of confronting himself, he tries to fill his big dark inner void by working like a machine. But no matter how hard he is working, it is never enough. Work for him has become a strategy to compensate the doom of feeling failure or inadequacy.
Still believing that hard work makes him satisfied, the Workaholic uses his doing to gain acceptance and sense. While running in his hamster wheel, the he doesn’t even have time to recognise how accepted and loved he is already.
When you pick this card, it might be good to ask yourself honestly: Do you believe that you’re only good when working hard and harder? What do you believe you need to prove to be loved and accepted?
When we use our work to be accepted and to prove how great we are, we do our work just to boost our ego. We forget that actually our work is an act of serving for the greater good.
*Are you working so hard in order to serve your ego or the greater good?
*How would you approach your work differently if you knew you were loved and accepted?
*What makes you who you are besides your work?
Make a date with yourself. No, not only one but three: only do what you like or hang out with yourself. Go to a cafe, go out at night and to a concert, meet friends or family, do your favourite sport or try out a new one, go on a hike or to a lake just to hang out, continue reading the book that lies unfinished next to your bed, invite someone over for dinner. Treat yourself with activities you really enjoy. If you think: no time for that, think how you can make it happen. It could be three short dates. The important thing is: dare to stop thinking about working or what you have to do for some time.